or: I just wanna go home, right now!
Ok, seriously, I thought I’m gonna make it with out being homesick. Whenever I heard other aupairs saying: „I got homesick after 3 months, 9 months, around Christmas, at my birthday…“ I was like „yaa…. maybe YOU, but me? NOT.“
I am homesick. It hit me last week. Everything was fine (ok, that’s a lie, nothing was fine, the kids were crying, it was hot, I was sweaty, tired and hungry), and all of the sudden I was like… ‚I wanna go home. I miss my Mommy so much. I wanna hang out wih my best friends, I wanna watch a movie with them, go for a walk, drink coffee with them, visit my grandma, I JUST WANNA BE AT HOME.‘ RIGHT NOW.
So, that’s how it feels like, being homesick. I didn’t cry. ok, yes, I did cry, In the car, with the kids in the backseat. At home, while watching Chittychittybangbang with the kids, at night. EVERYTHING is better at home, I want a grumpy cashier, I want to WALK to the store, I want healthy bread, I want, I want… I want Apfelstrudel!
I started to avoid the US (haha, good luck with that one! It’s kinda hard avoiding something when you LIVE there, it’s like… going to a steakhouse and trying to get something vegetarian! And trust me… not easy! I’ve been there)… so I started to stay at home every evening, which was fine in the beginning, because it’s exhausting going out every night, but I was trying to avoid everyone. I started to watch a lot of austrian/german TV shows (I even started to watch ‚Sturm der Liebe‘, see how desperate for german TV I was!!!), I didn’t eat healthy anymore, I started to go to bed by 7:30, which ment, I woke up around 11 and couldn’t go back to sleep until like 2, so I was super tired all the time, had way too much Starbucks (#livinglavidamocha),… and yesterday I didn’t even want to go to my gymclass, because I rather wanted to stay at home to catch up with „Sturm der Liebe“
And than it hit me… LISA WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!
so I made a decision: I can either feel sorry for myself all the time, lie in bed, watch stupid TV shows, cry all the time, miss out of this beautiful weather,… OR… I can pull myself together! SUCK IT UP!
YES, it SUCKS that I can’t be at home, it sucks, that I have to eat the crap here, yes it sucks that I can’t be around my friends right now, but you know what? YOUR DECISION! SO SUCK IT UP AND LIVE WITH IT!!
So, I got up, went to gym class, had a good time and got up early this morning to go to a festival with my hostfamily. Later we went shopping, had coffee, had a good time and now I’m getting ready for a church picknick.
Because: even if being here sucks right now… it’s my decision to make the best out of it. Because… motschgern doesn’t help.